The last few months have been a great adventure in retrospect, i’ve fulfilled a life long dream of moving overseas to live & work in a different environment, fulfilled a few childish ambitions along the way & i’m slowly coming to terms with the reality that this really is my new home & not some extended vacation. There have been major ups & downs but the good thing i believe is how unpredictable it has been so far & it’s interesting to wait & see what lies ahead. If i’m honest with myself at the same time, i would note that it has taken a huge toll on me emotionally coming to terms with another messy relationship ending on a sour note whilst not having my friends & family to fall back on. Emotionally, being in Adelaide by myself was the toughest i’ve had it for quite a while with the pain of having to deal with another failed relationship. It would have been nice to sit with a few friends @ buba or lannies & have a drink on a Friday night listening to some 80’s music not having to think about all that has gone wrong. Unable to cope, here i am today with my extended family in Sydney to start afresh. To be honest i didn’t see it happening this way, i was hoping to have a blast left completely to myself for the first time. But life rarely goes according to plan & the last few months certainly have been a testament to this truth. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being in Sydney for the last month, spending almost every weekend fishing at some of the most beautiful spots i’ve casted away from. It’s hard to beat the natural beauty of a place like balapitiya or mirissa, some of the places i’ve really enjoyed fishing in Lanka, but i’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy a different sort of beauty at some of these places. Brighton jetty, pier 1 overlooking the harbour bridge & recently the spit bridge area have been really fun to be at & a gorgeous way to spend the afternoon. My family have been brilliant in tagging me along to watch the rugby every week & it’s been one of the best experiences of my life seeing how passionate the people here are about the Rugby league, funnily enough Rugby union is the game for the posh people over here and i’d be embarrassed if seen wearing a Waratahs Jersey in this neck of the woods. If it weren’t for my former partner haunting me from time to time i would be having the time of my life right now, but for the moment i’m having to deal with the highs & lows of this new beginning. I can’t complain that life is boring though, as i quite often used to. When it rains, it really does pour… but at least it’s been a mixed bag. It could be a lot worse.
When i got the tickets for the Australia Vs Pakistan match played at Colombo over the weekend i didn’t expect much. After all Sri Lanka wasn’t playing, it was a poya Holiday hence no booze & missing were the dozens of papare bands that make the Sri Lankan cricket atmosphere so unique. But it was an electric atmosphere all the same, the pakis were doing mexican waves the whole time & managed to get the entire ground involved, they continuously harassed any australian supporters passing by & everyone joined in to abuse some indian fans trying to be too smart by running up & down the stand waving their flags when they had nothing to do with either the match or the venue. The quarters with Sri Lanka in it guarantees to be infinitely better. It will be nice to beat the poms again at this stage of the tournament. Brings back pleasant memories from 1996.
Was going through the Kottu Blogroll this morning after a lapse of probably a year or more. Found some interesting posts from a lot of blogs I’ve never read before & noticed that for some reason my blog is still listed there, quite surprised to be honest given that I haven’t posted anything in months. There’s not been much to report to be honest. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I haven’t been out of Colombo for quite a few months & that’s not great news given how limited your options can be on a boring saturday afternoon in Colombo. The last time was probably Wasgamuwa, which turned out to be everything I would ever want out of ”getting out of Colombo”. The drive was spectacular, especially the stretch beyond Dabulla to wasgamuwa, where there were quite a few breathtaking straights with high mountains on either side & the early evening sunlight somehow finding its way onto the road in front of us. We also managed to see about 300 elephants after spending 2 whole days inside the park. The fact that all 300 elephants were seen in a brief 20 minute period didn’t dampen the spirits of my Eco friendly friends who thought that they had witnessed the second coming of the messiah. But really, I sort of understood what they felt, even though I didn’t feel the same way. I was just glad that the 2 days weren’t an absolute waste of time & I could proudly tell my mother ”we saw 300 elephants”. (Explaining why we didn’t see any elephants in Wasgamuwa after 2 days inside the park to my mother would have been a painful process). Back at the bungalow I managed to walk across a paddy field which was due to be prepared for sowing in the coming weeks & I found myself at the foot of what looked like a eucalyptus tree with a tree house on top. ”Pal rekeema sadaha Yoda gamu lebe”. It overlooked an expanse of paddy fields which stretched as far as the horizon, ( no really… it did), and it apparently went all the way up to the banks of the mahaweli river which was miles away. It would have been the ideal place/moment to light up a J. It would have also guaranteed that I fell off the tree instead of climbing down since the entire structure was so unstable & made scary creaking sounds the whole time as the hot/dry wind blew the tree from side to side. I seriously wouldn’t mind if my current office relocated to Wasgamuwa, I doubt I’d want to be a farmer like many of the locals, but I certainly wouldn’t mind spending more time in that sort of surroundings.
I tried to do another Mirissa weekend in january. So i rang up Sunil the owner of the small guess house i usually stay at for just 2500rs a night & 3500rs with air conditioning, (i usually skip the ac). I was a bit shocked to find out that he was block booked up until march & a non ac room was going at US$95. So much for Mirissa… I’m still kind of paying off some credit card debt so that was just too much of a stretch.
Hopefully I will enjoy posting on this blog again, this was certainly enjoyable. But it’s just that there’s beenlittle that’s note worthy to write about.
The last year or so has been quite difficult for me, especially since I’m not the type of bloke to die wondering. I like to take things head on & get on with something full on. But maybe I rush into things too much & I needed to learn the finer art of patience. Either way, God has been good to me over the last year & I’ve drawn closer to him little by little as I continue to wait patiently for a breakthrough. It’s been a character building period than anything else to be honest. And it’s undeniable that I stand today more sure about what I should or ought to do with my life than say 6 months or a year ago. But with this intimate knowledge comes the responsibility to wait patiently for the right opportunity.
And to keep myself busy I’ve decided to run the Colombo marathon, or at least start training towards that goal. The half marathon to be precise, which is going to be a 21km stretch from Colombo 7 to some point on the Bopotiya road heading towards Negombo. This is not going to be a cake walk in any way. I’m a good 15Kg overweight, only managed to reduce smoking a couple of weeks ago & can’t manage a 30 minute jog at the park without feeling my back. I’ve called upon the services of the navy women’s water polo coach to get me fit enough to complete the race. The objective is to merely finish the race, that’s it. The prize is to overcome myself physically & mentally. And I’m guessing this should do it.
I start training tomorrow, a grueling 5000 meter run complemented by various forms of physical torture which, through a process of gradual increase over the next 6 weeks should help me to finish the race at the very least.
I was challenged by a friend of mine to find out the real meaning of love & I had to turn to the good book for some answers. What I found was quite intriguing. I’ve been always taught ‘’God’’ is love & love itself is kind, patient, not self seeking & the whole works of Corinthians 1.13. Thus if I can see patience in a person it is an act of love, if there is kindness there is love & if that person is not self seeking there is love. So it’s always a good measure of exactly how much in love you might be or how much in love someone else might be with you. What hit me hard was the fact that Love cannot be defined as a ‘’state of being’’ but rather an ‘’action verb’’. Example, she is a smart girl. ‘’Is’’ being the verb here, but only a state of being. However If I should say, a dog bit me. ‘’Bit’’ would be an action verb. What I’m trying to say is that, that amazing feeling you feel at night when you are about to go to bed that makes you feel so warm & cozy thinking about the person? You hear what I’m saying? That makes you think wow a feeling so strong, well in reality that is not love but just passionate lust & attraction which is a state of being. Love is much more than a feeling & love is only tested & proven through time by your actions by being kind, patient, not self seeking, etc. So just be careful the next time you think your in love, give it time & see if you actually love this person. Ok, so here’s the first part of Corinthians 1.13. (It turned out that the meaning of this verse is much deeper than even what occurred to me above)
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
What the first part of this chapter says is that to speak in tongues, which is a gift of the Holy Spirit, to prophesy, which is also a gift of the Holy Spirit, and if you have extreme faith but do not have love, you are nothing. Meaning, it’s actually possible A) to operate in these gifts without having God in your life because God is love. B) Once a gift is given God never takes it away, tongues, gift of prophesy etc. C) even charity, faith, tongues, prophesy combined you are nothing without love & nothing without God intimately close to you & within you through his holy spirit.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
Powerful isn’t it, always protects, always trusts, and always perseveres. For those who think that with time love fades away think again, true love is time tested & it grows through the years. And finally true love, never fails. It’s speaking more or less about the love of God, but it is also a benchmark to measure ourselves against how much we love someone, our parents for example & how we treat them. A spouse, parent, sibling, anyone really.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
This is easily my favorite part. Prophesies, tongues & knowledge are put to shame before love but with greater & deeper depth. It says that when perfection comes the imperfect disappears; the perfection talked about here is true love, the love of God. And it goes onto show that a person without the love of God in their hearts is like a child with childish ways & with the reasoning of a child, but one who has the love of god deep within is like a man who has put childish ways behind him. It’s called Maturity. Now we shall see a poor reflection as in a mirror, because we cannot in any way without the love of God get intimately close to him even though, read that again, even though we have faith, knowledge, the gift of prophesy, the gift of tongues etc. So though we might be Christians with Christ within us, we are a poor reflection without the love of God burning bright within us. The verse goes on to say that ‘’Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face’’. That is an amazing place to be, face to face with God because his love burns within you. No matter what goes on around you are absorbed by the physical emotional & intellectual knowledge that God is with you. It’s like having someone next to you, a best friend all the time who you can talk to. None of this is possible without having the love of God inside of you.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I hope this revelation gets a hold of you & blesses you just as much as it has blessed me over the past 2 days. I’ve been able to discern a lot of things in my life with this one powerful chapter.
The fish to fishing trip ratio. Calculated by dividing the total number of fish caught in a calendar year by the number of fishing trips by definition, has been nothing short of disgraceful over the past year. It’s for people like us that the japanese decided to award degrees in fishing because though some people may try & try quite hard at that, they really are hopeless. My record stood at 4/10? something like that. A .4 ratio!. And if I were to share that the 4 fish in question were composed of 2 beached 6cm long Salayas & 2 ornamental fish I shamelessly slayed on a coral reef, you might come to terms with how bad things have really been. Of course it’s not been this bad my whole life, there’s been plenty of good years (in my own opinion), but somehow I had the privilege of almost equaling the record of the Tampa bay buccaneers at 0/16 in the context of fishing over the past year.
So needless to say, when I was woken up by Mr.Fish at 3am today, I wasn’t the most optimistic fisherman on the island. But miraculously, we ended catching a good 3kg worth of fresh water fish. Of course this was the first time I’ve been on a fishing trip using a throw net (Highly effective), & though it bears no comparison to the gamesmanship provided by using a rod & reel it did solve the fish to fishing trip ratio. A bit like what screwing a prostitute must be like. Probably no foreplay, getting right down to it & finally probably not as good as the full deal. the catch was plenty, catfish, Lobster, Pethiyo?, Batto, Mal gurami (I think that’s what it was called) & some other fish I can’t name. Now to cast at this secret location during the wee hours of the morning, that’s the obvious next step i guess.
Some videos of the Throw net in action!
Sitting in a crowded room of fellow graduates last night I simply couldn’t shake off the feeling of meaninglessness of it all. Someh0w, the dots don’t connect anymore. The line ends here. Graduate. So now what? Amidst the emptyness though it was refreshing to hear some kid named Joanna play the piano & worship. Even if it was for only just a moment, it did help me to relax & now i can’t seem to get the words off my mind.